Open Letter to My Child's Friend's Parent

Dear Child’s Friend’s Parents,

I recently found out that when my child was underage, you let them drink and smoke weed with your kids and their friends at your house, and with your permission.  I was told that your reason for doing this was to keep your kids safe, since they were going to do it anyway. (Hahahahaha! Hilarious!!)

How dare you make decisions for MY child without discussing it with me? What right do you have to undermine my parenting choices? You may think you are being a realist, but I think you just like being the cool parent.

Maybe these are your rationalizations:

-You will be able to keep an eye on the kids. (How responsible of you!)
-You will not allow the teens to drive if you notice that they are drunk. (Oh thank you sooooo much!)
-You will get a chance to get to know the friends of your own teens and perhaps they might even think that you are cool and will like you and open up to you. (Ding, ding, ding, ding!!! You are the COOL parent!! Awesome! Good for you!!)
-You will have the power to insist that the teens who are tired or not in good shape sleep at your home. (You are simply an amazing display of concerned parenting!)
-You won't have to worry about your own teen's safety because s/he will be under your roof and your watchful gaze. (Hell, why not join them, come on, let’s party!!)

I hate to break it to you, but YOU ARE NOT COOL!  You are LAZY. It’s easier to let your kids do anything they want! It’s hard to require more from your kids, to give them morals and boundaries, and a respect for laws and other people. You are basically giving underage kids the ability to drink freely and are thereby giving them the message that you think that this behavior is fine. My mistake was not getting to know whose house my child was going to, and not talking to you to get a sense of what kind of person you are!  I own that mistake. I naively assumed that NO PARENT would ever condone drugs or alcohol in their home. (What an idiot I was!)

You were definitely okay with being deceitful, because I doubt that you are making the other parents aware that alcohol will be flowing at your home. I know you never informed me!  In fact, when my child ran away from home and went to your house, you condoned hiding him from me!

The fact is, you are allowing underage kids to do something that is not legal. That’s probably why you don’t inform their parents that this is your policy!  If I had known then, I would have turned you in to the police in a millisecond for contributing to the delinquency of a minor!

It is not a parent’s role to be seen as a friend or even as a "cool" parent.  It is your role as a parent to model being a law-abiding citizen and being a responsible parent for your teen and for their friends.

To all the other parents out there who might be reading this, be aware. There are parents out there who let their kids run their homes, or who don’t care what their kids do, or simply ignore what they do.  They don’t care about their kids, why would they care about your kids, or your rights as a parent. You HAVE to meet them, see their home, and have some sense of who they are. If you don’t, then DON”T let your kids go there.